Happy Thanksgiving Cornucopia 3

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving
~Team JingleSPOT

Here’s a little holiday cheer…. from our team.

Remember: “On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment — halftime.”

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A Thanksgiving Miracle

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Jay Leno: “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”

Rita Rudner: “My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”

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Thanksgiving Prayer

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David Letterman: “There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don’t buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.”

David Letterman: “Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.”

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Funny Thanksgiving Cartoon

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Bob Smith: “It wasn’t easy telling my family that I’m gay. I made my carefully worded announcement at Thanksgiving. It was very Norman Rockwell. I said, “Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual?” She passed it to my father. A terrible scene followed.”

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Thoughts from George

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Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I love Thanksgiving turkey…it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

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Showdown – Farmer vs. Turkey

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Johnny Carson: “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”

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13 Dogs and a Cat

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Irv Kupcinet: “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”

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Turkey Day Toon

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Phyllis Diller: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”

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Funny Ad Robert De Nero

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Irving Berlin: “Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks.”

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For My Indian Brothers and Sisters

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Jay Leno: “Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, “Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England”.

Jon Stewart: “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”

Larry Omaha: “My mother won’t celebrate Thanksgiving. She says it represents the white man stealing our land. But she’s not angry, she figures, ‘What the hell, we’re taking it back one casino at a time.”

Dylan Brody: “You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave”.

White Eagle: “Happiness is the realization of God in the heart. Happiness is the result of praise and thanksgiving, of faith, of acceptance; a quiet tranquil realization of the love of God.”

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Thanksgiving Joke

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What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

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U Can’t stuff this

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Thanksgiving Overture

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“Salt and Pepper”

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Ambassador Rodgers: “Love is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.”

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Happy Thanksgiving Song

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Turkey Song Dickie Stickhead

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